A Leader’s Comeback Through Truth And Resilience

We sit down with entrepreneur and speaker Ken Miller to talk about identity, truth, and the hard work of rebuilding a life after addiction, incarceration, and years of being stuck. We unpack what leadership really requires when you are scaling a business, earning trust, and trying to stay resilient in public and in private. 

• Ken’s background from foster care to Ivy League to incarceration and entrepreneurship 
• The moment that sparks Ken’s shift toward faith, truth and a new identity 
• Using stories to communicate emotion, lessons learned and vision 
• Leadership as allowing people to choose the mission, not forcing compliance 
• Scaling a business beyond solopreneur limits through hiring talent and systems 
• Getting a coach or mentor to keep ego in check and build a real plan 
• Key leadership traits like confidence, vision, empathy, honesty and visible effort 
• Repairing trust after mistakes through admission, responsibility and integrity 
• Social media, reputation and “playing the game” without losing yourself 
• Resilience for known setbacks and sudden shocks, plus how leaders support teams 
LinkedIn, Ken Miller84. My phone number is 907-250-8488.

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Just Make A Difference: Leading Under Pressure by Ron Harvey

“If you don’t have something to measure your growth, you won’t be self-aware or intentional about your growth.”

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Disclaimer:

The views and opinions expressed in this podcast are those of the speakers and guests and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of any organization or entity. The information provided in this podcast is intended for educational and informational purposes only and should not be considered as professional advice. Listeners should consult with their own professional advisors before implementing any suggestions or recommendations made in this podcast. The speakers and guests are not responsible for any actions taken by listeners based on the information presented in this podcast. The podcast is not intended to be a substitute for professional advice or services. The speakers and guests make no representations or warranties of any kind, express or implied, about the completeness, accuracy, reliability, suitability or availability with respect to the information, products, services, or related graphics contained in this podc...

Transcript

Welcome And Show Premise

SPEAKER_02 0:00

Welcome to Unpack Podcast with your host, Leadership Consultant, Ron Harvey of Global Core Strategies and Consulting. Ron believes that leadership is the fundamental driver towards making a difference. So now, to find out more of what it means to unpack leadership, here's your host, Ron Harvey.

Ken Miller’s Origin Story

SPEAKER_03 0:19

Good afternoon. This is Ron Harvey, the Vice President, Chief Operating Officer for Global Course Strategies and Consulting, a professional leadership development firm based out of Columbia, South Carolina. We spend all of our time helping leaders be better connected with their workforce through their own professional development. I'm excited about it, love doing it. My wife and I have been doing it for about 13 years. But we we created a podcast, and the podcast is really to help leaders from around the globe with some subject matter expertise and leadership that love it, that care about people. And we always invite guests. It's called Unpack. They don't know the questions, and neither do I. And so this is a real conversation. We're kind of going to have it right in front of you, live TV, about leadership. Um, so I'm super excited to have another phenomenal guest. Um, so I'm bringing in um Ken Miller, who's going to introduce himself and then we'll get started. Ken, thank you, man. Glad to have you on the show.

SPEAKER_00 1:06

Hey, it's my pleasure. Thank you, Ron, for inviting me. Looking forward to the discussion.

SPEAKER_03 1:12

Awesome, awesome. So, Ken, for for you, you you enjoy doing it. Um, we were working through you know some green room stuff earlier, and you talked about you love talking about leadership and the things you like professional development. Can you lean in a little bit about your company and the work you've done in the past before we before we really dive in? Can you unpack some of that for us?

SPEAKER_00 1:31

Yes. Before we go there, I just want to give a little introduction so people understand what are the antecedents to the person I am today. What became before? I'm 62 years old. I am a of mixed heritage. My mother was white teenage, runaway. My dad was a black, married pimp, and drug dealer in New York City. I was put up for adoption at birth, did six years of foster homes, was adopted by Irene and Sam Miller, and learned how to read when I was seven years old. And I was what they would call precocious academically. By the time I was 17, I was a National Merit Scholar. I was accepted to Harvard. I went to Dartmouth for my undergrad degree, Ivy League. I graduated, unfortunately, with a degree in fraternity and a minor in drinking. That was my major and my minor coming out of college. Went into the corporate world for a couple years, uh, but then relapsed and ended up doing 20 years homeless on the streets or incarcerated. I'm a three-time convicted felon, spent many years behind bars. And the reason why I want to bring up, I just want you to understand some of the things that I overcame to get to where I am today, which is a successful business owner, entrepreneur, husband, grandfather, and individual that mentors and helps others. That's who I am today. But this is thank you.

SPEAKER_03 3:03

I mean, don't lose your momentum here, but thank you for slowing it down and being really transparent because the show is about who are we. You know, because sometimes as leaders, man, we make people think we always had it together and we came from this silver spoon in your mouth, and life was great in the best schools, in the best circumstances. And it's absolutely not true. So thank you for slowing it down. Saying, let me tell you who I am so you can get it as you listen. And so far, I guess as you listen, you know, the story behind who he is today is not where he came from. So thank you for doing that. So let me get out your way some more.

SPEAKER_00 3:32

No problem. So when I got out of prison for the third time in 2007, I'd been clean for three years. I did three years on my last bit. I had no marketable skills. So I worked in a warehouse in 2007. And I was to continue doing that, some manual labor for the next couple years. Then I got a job at a convention center located in Anchorage, Alaska, and it was a first position of leadership or management. And it predominantly came from my background as you know, Ivy League, and then also I have a very strong work habit, which we may talk about a little later. Went from there into the fundraising, what we call development field, fundraising for nonprofits or um what we call NGOs, and did that for a few years and put out my own shingle in 14th for my first company, uh, which is still going strong, which is at Denali FSP. And we predominantly write grants and I consult with nonprofits in their fundraising. And then I went on from there to uh start four more companies, uh, which I own today, and uh again have been very, very successful as a speaker, author, entrepreneur, and all-around nice guy, yeah. Which is important that I identify as a kind and gentle man. But I'm looking forward to unpacking uh discussions about leadership, about growth, about success, and things of that nature. So let's let's do it now that you have a little bit of my background.

Hitting Bottom And Identity Shifts

SPEAKER_03 5:05

And you set it up just right. You know, when you got a speaker on, an entrepreneur, and people that's live life, you know. So Ken set it up perfect, which is what the show is really about, is it's not acting as though we are we got it all together, we're perfect, and we come from this place. So, Ken, let me let me go let me unpack a little bit, let me go back. Okay, no, based on you know how you know the fact that you know who your dad was, who your mother was, and how you know you were born and came into the world, what was it that you found out about yourself in this journey to not get stuck in woe is me?

SPEAKER_00 5:38

I did get stuck in woe and me.

SPEAKER_03 5:40

You did get stuck there for a while.

SPEAKER_00 5:42

Okay, years. Yeah, I was I was I was homeless. I was a panhandler. Wow, I was a panhandler, I was a criminal. Armed robbery, kidnapping, drug dealing, prostitution, pimping. I did it all. Okay, convicted three times: drug possession, drug sales, and burglary. Okay, that's my truth. Yes, this is with an Ivy League degree. Okay, that's what the book Becoming Ken is about. It's becoming Ken who I identify with now. I used to identify as thug, identify as ex-con, identify as drug dealer, identify as pimp. I don't no longer identify by those words. I identify as Ken Miller, a child of God that is kind and gentle.

SPEAKER_03 6:26

So I did, but what made the transition that switch for you, that change? What what was if, and I don't know if it's one thing, Ken. I don't know. Like I told everybody, I don't know what question I'm gonna ask next. But I want to be able to add value to people that are listening that we're here for. Is there one thing that you can say this was it? Now there are many more, but the one thing that stands out the most that switched it for you?

SPEAKER_00 6:52

Yeah, 100%. And that was lying on the bunk, uh, Unit 13, Par Boulevide, Par Boulevard County Jail in outside of Reno, Nevada, looking at my third felony, and I had a discussion with God. Better yet, uh, God has always been talking to me. I listened to God. And the message that I remember, and I write about in the book, is very simply, I remember exactly, I could picture it right now, lying on that bunk with 60 other men in the unit. But I remember the conversation is this is not going to be easy. This is not going to be without pain, but I will always be there for you, and we can get to the other side. And 100% that has been truth. And once I uh embrace that and that understanding and accepted that this is not going to be easy, but can we can get to the other side ever since then? And again, it hasn't been easy, hasn't been without pain, but I've been able to turn the page and get to the other side. We talk about resilience, come back from the setback.

SPEAKER_03 8:06

Yeah, yeah. It's a great, it's a great story, and the book is behind you. The UR code is up there for people to see where they can have access, scanning. You know, you're watching the video, you know, to to understand how do you make it through times when when that you're not proud of, but that did happen and be able to pivot. And something has to happen in your life. We call it a a C. I'm a I'm a military guy, a significant emotional event. Something happens. Yes. Uh, you know, and I tell people, you know, what is that significant emotional event that wakes us up? And all of us, if we're real honest, had something emotional and significant in our lives to get us on track.

unknown 8:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 8:47

And that's for every one of us. So whether it's you know, three times convecting the felon, whether it's uh had a baby out of wedlock, or whether it's I messed up in my marriage, or whether it's I I didn't graduate from college and I started or wasted my parents' money or whether I got booted out the middle. People have a story that they can become what what something that they were really destined to become.

SPEAKER_00 9:07

Correct. The key is this though. What do you do with the story?

unknown 9:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:13

So my gift is I can articulate stories. I can are, and the real importance, I can articulate emotions around the event. A lot of people can't do that. They can tell you I was shot. Okay, well, how'd you feel? Oh, I don't know. I just remember I was shot.

SPEAKER_01 9:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:33

I can articulate the antecedents, what happened before, I can articulate the event, and I can articulate the emotions and the feelings around the event. And I can do it from the stage, I can do it on the podcast, but I can do that. But even more important, I can tell you the lessons learned. My book is a bunch of stories. And it's so funny. I have people that come up and say, Man, I wish I had a story like you. No, you don't. No, you don't. You don't want my story. It was nothing nice. Okay. But in each chapter, there are lessons learned. There are things that you can go to meditate on or to think about or to journal on at the end of each chapter. There's a value added. I can sit here and tell stories for the next, you know, six hours, just stories. But can I add a value added to the listener here? Can I add a value added that I learned from to become the person I am today?

Storytelling That Moves People

SPEAKER_03 10:32

So you have an ability to be able to tell stories, um, pull out some of the emotions that's going along with it. How useful is that for leaders to be able to put a story together that gets people to follow them and be authentic?

SPEAKER_00 10:47

Very important. Is it the most important? No, but it's very important. So leadership is allowing others to accomplish an action in pursuit of the goal. That's leadership. I just came with just real quick on that.

SPEAKER_03 11:13

You use the word allow. I mean, and you you emphasize allowing. Can you unpack? Um, because you know, you work hard, you got your degree, you worked hard to get to this corner office, you got these fancy titles, and and oftentimes you're waited on, but you you shift and you say allowing. Can you can you unpack that?

SPEAKER_00 11:30

Sure. The allowing, because in the end, people are going to do what they want to do. Yes. Bad enough. But we will allow them through support, through um painting a picture of the desired goal. Again, and you are a military man and you you've been around great leaders, and you've been around some that maybe weren't great leaders. And one of the things that great leaders do is state a truth or an aspiration or a desired goal, and then inspire to bring in the spirit, but really is to bring in the emotion that we are on this desired path together. And I need your help, squad, battalion, company, whatever it may be, to roll all in the same direction. Because this is our desired goal that we'll reach when we can go back home at some point. I'm just talking about even in battle, but we can be in training, whatever it may be. So, how do we use storytelling? Because we can always use coercion, but it has been proven for thousands of years, it's not the most effective way to get individuals to overcome inertia andor fear. Yes. Okay. What we have to do is encourage to bring in courage, whether the desired result is a business number or a or a physical number or a military number. What we have to do as leaders is encourage, inspire, and give direction. So having said all that, and this man has been studies on this, how many people can we touch? And I'm talking about that. A great leader has the ability. You know, think about Braveheart, the speech before the battle. Yes. Okay, with Mel Gibson. Well, you can times that about a thousand. Think about even Tom Hanks and Saving Private Ryan has this smaller speech, but it's just to his squad that's left before the final battle, okay? To encourage them to understand, hey, we have a mission to bring this gentleman home. That's our mission, whether we like it or not. And we're going to do the best we can. And then maybe we can go home.

unknown 14:02

Okay?

SPEAKER_00 14:02

Maybe I can go back to my wife who's cutting the flowers in the backyard back in Pennsylvania, if you know the story. But anyway, so how do we communicate that? And for you know, many, many years it was verbal, okay, to be able to encourage, inspire, and lead the individuals. But you have to allow them, and the allowance is whether whoever the team members are, business or life, is allow them to voluntarily want to be a part of this dream aspiration or goal.

Allowing Others To Lead With You

SPEAKER_03 14:38

Yeah. I love I love it. I want to unpack some of you know, you think about the role that you're in now, you know, you started multiple businesses, you know, um, and as entrepreneurs, you know, it it's your baby. You start it. How do you give how do you speak to entrepreneurs that are listening that follow the show to allow people because you know you you're close and you want to do everything, and and you never I I didn't find to be successful trying to do it by myself, not long term. What do you tell entrepreneurs from a leadership role how to get out of the way and let other people help you be successful?

SPEAKER_00 15:12

So, first of all, you gotta ask yourself, am I a solopreneur or am I an entrepreneur?

SPEAKER_03 15:16

Yeah, I mean, either or I mean, or you can do both.

SPEAKER_00 15:19

Yeah, but if you're let me just so if you're a solopreneur, the other person you're leading is yourself.

SPEAKER_03 15:26

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 15:26

And that's not what that doesn't scale. It does not scale. We have, I'm doing a whole talk on scaling your business in September over in South Carolina. And there are numbers that we can use. Usually there's a scaling, you get your first employee about a half a mil, and then usually between one and two, you're going to have to get uh some other specialized HR uh finance. Again, we have to bring on more, whether they're contractors and or staff. But to scale, because and I talk about this all the time, we only have so much capacity, and capacity consists of in my book only two things: time and money, time and money, time and money. So if you want to be a solopreneur, and it depends on what you do a little bit, but for 98% of businesses, you will have to lead others toward the desired goal. And so if you're you you can't really lead yourself, quote unquote. Okay. So that's why I asked that question. I wasn't trying to push back or anything. Are you a solopreneur? Because some people are comfortable being solopreneurs. But if you are, be comfortable that you will probably max out at the most, depending on what you're doing, at a mill. At a mill, gross. That's gross. I mean, that's and that's fine. And if you're comfortable with that, understand those are the facts. But if you're ready to then scale your business larger, you will at some point will have to hire for talent. Yes. And lead them to the desired goal. That I want to make this a$5 million company. I want to make this a$2 million company.

SPEAKER_03 17:15

Yeah, I love that you say you're gonna have to hire for talent. And what I pull out of that is you you don't have all the talent that's gonna be required to make that business, the the two million or the five million or the scale that you you may have some talent, but but as your business grows, there's just talent you don't have. As bad as you may want it, you don't have it. And you can't be the best at everything. And so being able to get out of your way and realize that you're gonna have to hire for talent. So if you're in a leadership organization or you're running or you're working in a in a big company, how do you make sure that you don't allow your ego or the know it all get in the way of bringing good talent and giving them space intentionally to be good and help you?

SPEAKER_00 17:52

Well, number one thing I'd recommend is get a good coach or good mentor.

SPEAKER_03 17:56

Yes. Hire Ron. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 17:59

I'm serious. I'm serious as a heartbeat on this. Or find a mentor that has your best interests at heart, period. Okay, I mentor men all over the country. I help them on leadership. I and that's me as a mentor. I'm very specific. I just work with black men. That's who I am. I'm very comfortable saying that. I'll coach anyone, okay? But you're paying me for usually a very specific end in mind. But it may be to scale my business, it may be to be a better leader within my team, within the corporation. Great, we can do that. Hire on, you know. But anyway, that's the first thing I would do because to scale without a plan or to scale without the knowledge base is a fool's errand. Yes. So you need to know how to scale and where do I scale first? I can I can take a look at any solopreneur's company and pretty much tell them where to scale next. I can I can do that. Give me your PL. Be honest with me. Let me know what your customer base consists of. Let me know what your goods and services that you are providing. Let me know about your marketing, and let me know about your financials, how you doing your financials. Because if you're doing on the back of a napkin, man, we need to get fresh books or quick books with the quickness, and you probably need to because what most people mess up in in business as solopreneurs, and I'm talking about we almost always start one. We don't start off hiring 10 people.

SPEAKER_03 19:32

Yes.

Scaling Beyond Solopreneur Limits

SPEAKER_00 19:33

Is that they don't know finances, they don't understand finances and or marketing. They have a service, they have a good. That's why they're starting a business. I'm gonna start a soul food restaurant. Okay, great. No problem. Yeah, you can cook. Yeah, I know you can cook, but you know nothing about business. Nothing. And well, my and I'm a big one on this because I've looked at it both ways. There's two different ways to start a business. Two, there's a lot of different ways, but let me just talk about two different ways. One is to start small and scale. The other one is to build it and they will come. So you build a million-dollar or two million dollar business and they will come. I've seen more people fail by building a million or two million, buying the building, getting the rent, you know, buying all the new uh kitchen equipment, whatever it may be, to do this restaurant and it spend two million dollars, uh big bar on steel to build this, and then they just expect people to come, have no idea how to market, have no idea how to do their financials, have no idea how to hire. And then we usually hire friends or family, and there's run out of them soon. You're not paying no way to leave. There's a reason why your family is unemployed.

SPEAKER_03 20:56

Yes, yeah, well, so they're out of here too. So, I mean, you're hitting on all the points, you know. From the so, Ken, you know, with all of the experience and and the and the life experiences that you've gone through, sometimes we make it seem easier than it is. You you mentioned earlier, you know, and you say not the most important thing to be able to get out of the way in leadership. If you had to talk to the audience, you say, what is what are some key components of being effective, whether I'm an entrepreneur, whether I'm working for an organization, whether I'm leading a nonprofit, what are some key things that you you think are super important to be effective for leaders today with so much changing so fast?

SPEAKER_00 21:37

For leadership. This is not being a social, that's different. So for a leader, I think probably the most important thing that you have is so many. Number one, as a leader, I need to have confidence. Okay. I have because they have to see that in me. Okay. Number two, I have probably. The number one thing. I have to have a vision. I have to have a vision. And I need to articulate. For me to close to keep that close to heart doesn't help my team. This is our numbers. This is what we're trying to grow. This is how many people we need on Facebook, whatever it means. But I need to articulate the vision so that they know what we're trying to achieve. Number three, a big one for me, is I have to have empathy. I have to have empathy for those individuals that I lead. I need to try to understand where they are emotionally and in life. Okay. That one I had to learn later on. That was a later on one I had to learn. Number four, I need to be able to show work. I can't stand a leader that all you ever do is see them flying around or doing you don't ever see them working. They're not working. I just this is just maybe my uh pet peeve of mine because I've seen that. Number two, I have to be honest.

unknown 23:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:04

Oh, I cannot say that one enough. I have to be honest as a leader. What do you do? Yeah, go ahead.

SPEAKER_03 23:12

I love it. Hope people are taking notes. I mean, it's it's really solid. I mean, this is you know, we we unpack, we talk for real. What do you what advice do you share? Let's say I I'm a leader and I make a mistake. I break that that love, that honesty or that trustworthiness. How do I recover?

SPEAKER_00 23:31

Number one, gotta admit it. I made a mistake, guys. Okay, and I and I use that term and isn't negative toward anyone. I just use the term guys. Okay. Guys, guys and gals, ladies and gentlemen, whatever you may want to call it. But anyway, number one, I have to state the truth. Yeah, I made a mistake. And I'm telling you, when you say that, it humanizes you instead of you being on this pedestal as the leader or the owner of the company, or I made a mistake. A lot of times when a team member makes a mistake, I'll say we made a mistake. We made a mistake.

unknown 24:13

Yeah.

Hiring Talent And Getting Coaching

SPEAKER_00 24:13

I lead this team. This is we have we're all in this together. Okay. And uh it's it's a mistake that we have made as a team, but I will take responsibility. So that's number one. Number two, I've always been very protective of my team. I will deal with the discomfort of the boss, of the client, of the customer. Let me deal with that. First of all, I can do things that you cannot do because I own the company andor um the team lead. Okay. I can give a discount, whatever it may be. And I've done this on more. And again, that's another thing that will endear you. Number three, I need to do um, I need to make my word my truth. I have to have integrity. And it may take time to build that back, especially if I had done something that they interpret as a lie. But this is what I'm gonna tell everybody on this call. Don't lie. Don't lie. Doesn't mean you have to tell them everything because there's things that you are not privy to, period. Because the boss has told me that I'm I can't share it with the team, or there's something happening behind the scenes that only leadership knows about. I'm cool with that. Believe me, you don't know what the colonel knows. Yeah, you don't know what the general knows. Okay, and I'm good with that. But within your defined tasks or this team's task, I will share the information that I can share. Okay. So again, it's just super important that uh I almost fundamentally I base everything on truth. Everything on truth. That is my fundamental core is truth. Okay, however you want to define it, facts, reality, but it's truth because I believe that's of God.

SPEAKER_03 26:06

Yeah. Thank you for sharing. I'm gonna I'm gonna unpack something else. I'm gonna go in a different direction for you around leadership and and about the perception of how we're seen with social media having such a big part of our lives today. Social media, AI, everybody wants to be seen, everybody has a microphone. How do you help us not get, you know, what advice do you share with younger leaders coming up of how not to allow that to suck them into places that's just unhealthy? How do they manage it more effectively? Um, because you can't not, you can't just not use it at all. But there's a healthy way as leaders of what you put out, what you don't put out, how you show up, what you don't show. You know, how do you help younger leaders that are listening and watching? Like everything's not made for everybody to know.

SPEAKER_00 26:47

Truth.

unknown 26:48

Yeah.

Core Traits Of Effective Leaders

SPEAKER_00 26:49

First of all, you gotta go back to your why. Why am I posting this? Who is going to see it? And how will it affect my reputational brand? Because you have, especially once you get into leadership, you have a reputation and you have a brand. And so you have to ask yourself all those questions. I've had many conversations with my mentees about how they come across on their social media. You're in the corporate world, and I go to your social media and I see this guy in a t-shirt or no shirt on as their, you know, as a as a picture. And they're like, oh, that's my Facebook, you know, that's my you know, Instagram. I said, that's cool, but you know, people are going to go there to see if they can trust you. Yes. And that's not trustable. Okay. Look, I'm a big one on this one. Sometimes we got to play the game. We got to play the game. Oh, I just want to be my authentic self. Okay, be poor. And I and I'm saying that, and I'm not saying that as an a pejorative, but you will not reach the levels of success because people cannot trust what you call your authentic self. And when you call authentic self, who are you being authentic to? And not everybody's gonna agree with me. I'm cool with that. I'm cool with that. Okay, but I'm just trying to get those who want to grow. Man, I I will play the game. When I go into the boardroom, I look differently than when I'm in the gym. Absolutely. But when I go to your social media, it's all there. Okay, so that's number one. Number two, what are you posting? What are you sharing that quote unquote resonates with you that the whole world can see? You know, and I'm telling you, and I'm well, let's keep it straight. I'm the scariest person in the United States. I'm a black male, six foot two, over 200 pounds, three-time convicted felon. I am scary to people who don't know me, period. Okay. And I know that. So I need to come across so I can get into the rooms because once I have the opportunity to get into the room, I can speak and you can understand that I'm not here to cause you pain or discomfort. I'm not. Okay. So anyway, I it's a great question. I would true, and I have, and many of them have changed. And you can still be authentic in your home, authentic at the family reunion, and authentic, and you walk down the street to Starbucks or going into the gym. But in public facing, depending on what level you want to go to, you have to. Let me put it this way. I suggest that you play the game. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 29:54

Yeah. Or meet the expectations. There is an expectation of how people um want to see it. It's almost like people, you know, we say, hey, well, why do I have to? I say, well, let's make it really simple. If someone's delivering a pizza to your house, there's a way you expect for that box to look or that car to look or that driver to look. I mean, it just comes along with the territory of a delivery. And if it doesn't look good, no matter how good the pizza is, they never get to it. So I think you know, the delivery matters. So how you deliver yourself on social media really matters. How you deliver yourself in boardrooms really matters. How do you deliver yourself when you're not in the boardroom when people see you in public and with your family? All that matters. And you're being evaluated. I think leaders are always being evaluated whether you like it or agree with it or want it or not want it. Someone's always watching when you're in a leadership role. Someone's always watching.

SPEAKER_00 30:44

I I have a question I always ask people: who are you trying to impress? Yes. Who are you trying to impress?

unknown 30:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 30:51

One of the most important decisions that every individual has to make at some point is to answer that question. You are who you hang out with. You are who you are associate with. I can't tell you how many times I've listened to rappers and sometimes individuals that are in acting, but they talk about they had to leave behind this group to get to this next level because those people were pulling them back in many different ways. Some of them, they many of them had to leave where they grew up because also they become an opportunity of prey. Because you have it, they don't, whatever. And I understand that so much. You know, I again I've spent a lot of time on the streets, I spent a lot of time in the penitentiary. I'm I communicate with maybe one or two people, but they're both on, but let's say two. They're both clean and sober today. So I'm not involved with individuals that um are still about that life. Yes. Okay.

unknown 31:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 31:59

Yeah, and that's important for you as leaders, you know, um, who are you surrounding yourself with so they can make your life better, um, enhance your ability and hold you accountable. Um, you sp you spoke earlier, and and and you talked about resiliency. Um, how important is it for people to be able to practice resiliency or bounce back and recover from things that are going to happen? How do you stay engaged without losing the the opportunities that may show up? How do you stay resilient?

SPEAKER_00 32:30

So that's my keynote. So as you see in upper right-hand corners, Ken Miller speaks. And my keynote is resilience, resilience in the face of the known and the unknown. Because there's two different ones. One we know is coming down the line. Uh, this situation, um, my mother is dying. I know that's coming.

unknown 32:53

Yes.

Rebuilding Trust After Mistakes

SPEAKER_00 32:54

And I need to be resilient uh in the face of her transition. And then there's once you're just walking down the street, and I have a slide, you know, the safe falling out of the window, you know, getting ready to hit you on the head. You didn't know that was even coming, and you'll have both in life as long as you're living. The difficulty and how important resilience is, is literally the level of the setback. You know, if you get in a if you're getting a whole bunch of ones, you don't have to be that resilient. You just wake up the next day and move on. Step my toe walking down the hallway. Okay, you know, no problem. But when you start getting those on a scale of one to tens, you start getting those seven, eight, nines. How do you come back from that setback, known and unknown setbacks? And there are tools. I teach them, but there are tools, and as a leader, you will have setbacks. And one of the key components of the setbacks are they setbacks of you, setbacks of the team, or setbacks of an individual on the team? And we handle them differently, all three of them. Remember, I said empathy is a real big part. When I know someone on my team has had, I have employees. When I know they have a situation or problem, I have a discussion in private, we're there, but more importantly, I'm saying I'm there. What do you need? You need time, you need finances, you need your paycheck early, you know, because this event has come. Do you need to take some time off? I'm I have that capability. I own the company, so I can give you all the above if needed. If it's a team question, we didn't meet our numbers for the team. Let's sit down, let's talk about it. What can we do? But you still are valuable to me.

unknown 34:57

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 34:58

You don't have to worry about your employment. You're valuable to me. Let's let's hit them next quarter, guys. Yeah. What do we need to do? If it's of me, then I go in and it's like a checklist I do, and it starts with prayer. And then it's also as important as prayer is to try to understand what is truth about the situation, the setback, what really happened or is happening. And then we can come up with a plan. There's about five other things that I would go through. Rapid.

SPEAKER_03 35:27

Thank you. Yeah, I love that you you can you continue to come back to what what you're grounded in, which is truth. Um, you got to put that up there um so you can put the right activities or actions in place to address whatever. So you got to be truthful. I want I want to, as we as we come to as we begin to wrap up, I want to go, I want to go to to your book. Um you would see it, um, and I'm sure that you'll be able to can you share a little bit of of what you hope that people will get out of your book when they purchase it.

Social Media Brand And Playing The Game

SPEAKER_00 35:53

An understanding of an individual that had everything. I had everything. I mean, literally. I was tall, dark, and handsome, 21 years old, Ivy League graduate. I've modeled. I mean, I mean, I've I've done a lot. I've been in a movie. I've I've had every attribute that would say I'm going to be a success. Unfortunately, I had me. I came off a lot of trauma in my childhood and early adulthood. And my way of dealing with it, a portion of my way of dealing with it was drugs and alcohol. Okay. So when you look at people, we judge them many times by how they look and how they carry themselves. But no, behind this has been my truth. Everybody has a story. Everybody has had some pain or discomfort or challenge in their life. I haven't yet to meet the person that hasn't. Okay, so we know what we've been, what's happened. But again, I tell you in every chapter, I have lessons learned and things that you can do to overcome and or take away the pain that's in the present of the memory of the past. That's a lot of what it is. I talk about taking away the power of the negative secret. Okay. And so, anyway, a lot of my book. And then what lessons can we learn to then go forward with more success, however, we define success. Okay. That's what my book is about. It's about the boardroom, it's about uh family, it's and I'm talking about having solutions for these areas about uh relationships and marriage. How do we become resilient? How do we become, you know, a person that is kind and gentle? Because that's who I am today. And is this probably the most important? How do we get out of being in an adversarial relationship with ourselves? How can we begin? Because I hated me. I hated me. Okay. And how do we get out of that today? I love me. You can tell you just look on this on my face. I love me. I'm good. I wake up to me. It is so cool. And I like, man, what do we got today? I have like a bunch of different meetings today.

SPEAKER_03 38:29

Yes, yes. I mean, even as we went through this podcast and how you show up and and the conversations, and we had changes, and we we mock, we we you know, we navigated through it together. You know, I tell people, you know, you gotta be at peace with you. I mean, it it's so important. I mean, and I think some a lot of people struggle with who they are, not happy with what they have or what they don't have. Um, you know, that thing of, are you happy? I love you say I love me, because that's a really key ingredient to being successful, to lead other people, to be around other people, to do things with other people. Like, do you like you? Because how do you want other people to like what you don't like?

Who You’re Trying To Impress

SPEAKER_00 39:07

That'd be difficult. Yes, very difficult, yes. It but you can fake that. You can fake the smile. You know, they have a way that they can take a uh a picture of your smile and they can tell if it's real or not. Yes, because the literally the the face differently. Yes, and then those people can pick it up, you know, just by looking at it. You know, that's a fake smile. But anyway, the the key there's so many keys. So many keys, but this is the thing. I am not afraid of me. I'm not afraid of me. I'm not afraid of my decision-making capability. I have put together a long succession of good decisions. Yes. Okay, and because of that, I am competent to life. I can do life, I can do finances, I can do marriage, I can do relationships, I can do grandpa, grandpa, I can do leader, I can be, I can do business owner successfully. Okay. But it's taken a lot of years to get to this point. And then that's what I do. That's why I talk. I want to share. This is how I've gotten to where I'm at today. I share probably half the time I go on stage is for free. I just went up to Anchorage, Alaska, talked to Sherm about hiring ex-offenders for free. It cost me two, three thousand dollars to do it. I can do it. Okay. So if you want me to speak, anyone who's looking and you can't charge, let me know. Let me see what my schedule is. Let me see what you want me to speak about and who am I speaking about, and I'll see if I have the capacity to do it. But you'll never know unless you ask. Yes. And if you want to, you know, pay me for it, great. Yeah, that's what I do. I'm a speaker, I write books. You know, I have two other I have a business I haven't even talked about. Two businesses. So, yeah, I guess it's just it's just who I am.

SPEAKER_03 41:11

They're gonna be blown out. They're gonna listen to this, you're gonna get all kind of phone calls, like, hey, we're gonna speak around at the NSA. Just reach out to them. So for all of you on there, to the other part. What's the best way for people that aren't interested, that are interested in in making contact with you? Um, because this is a show where I promote business. I want people to do business with us, but I also want us to offer great products and answer a lot of questions. What's the best way to reach you?

SPEAKER_00 41:35

LinkedIn, Ken Miller84. I see I graduated from Dartmouth. So if you do LinkedIn, Ken Miller84, and check this out. My phone number is 907-250-8488. Same number for 15 years, and I pick up. I'm not afraid of any phone call.

unknown 41:54

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 41:54

So feel free to call me if you have a comment, question, concern, or thought, and you just want to talk to a uh a brother that will talk to you. If I can pick it up, I had two calls come in while we're on this podcast. I can't speak right now. Can I call you later? I'll just hit the message. So that's how to contact me. And I gotta get going also. I got another.

SPEAKER_03 42:14

Appreciate you, man. Thank you so much for all you that follow. Um, this will be dropped. We'll we'll look forward to you again, Ron Harvey. Um, Unpack. Um, love to have you as a guest, but thank you for following us. Kim, thank you so much. And for you next time, we're gonna wrap up. Y'all have a wonderful one. And Kim, thank you. Thank you. Appreciate you, man.

SPEAKER_02 42:32

Well, we hope you enjoyed this edition of Unpack Podcast with leadership consultant Ron Harvey. Remember to join us every Monday as Ron Unpacks Sound Advice, providing real answers for real leadership challenges. Until next time, remember to add value and make a difference where you are or the people you serve. Because people always matter.